June 26th, 2009

Time: 03:34 am Current Mood: nostalgic

[Filter: Private, in Atsirian] At least he looks like he's happy, I guess ... ~ The captain doesn't really look that way a lot, does he? He's always just so ... ~ I don't know. It's hard to describe! It kind of ... I guess you'd probably want me to move on and find somebody new, Lest, but ... it's not that easy for me. You understand that, right? It's never been that easy for either of us. I know you can read this, wherever you are now, and I know you'll forgive me. Even if I never ... anything~, I know you'll understand. It's not that easy for me. I miss you, though, when I see people talking about things like that ... it's hard, you know? Not to have you there anymore. It's like I said to that one woman, back on Rose Day, it's like there's a big empty hole. And I never even knew there was something there before, but now it's gone, and ... yeah~ I don't mean to get all sentimental on you, Lest, or anything, but it's hard to talk about this with most people, you know? I'm a criminal, now. You were a criminal when you died ... we're both on our own again. But this time I don't even have you with me. You big jerk. You big, stupid ... [pause] I don't know why I keep getting like this, I really don't. Sorry ... ~ I know you hate to see me sad. I'll keep smiling, even if it's hard. I just miss you, and I thought I should ... say it, for once~

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June 15th, 2009

Time: 04:37 am Current Mood: curious

[Filter: Captain Reese] So, Captain~ Your question made me curious. Am I allowed to ask how things are going~?

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May 30th, 2009

Time: 07:03 am Current Mood: thoughtful

[Filter: Private] And ... it's been two years ... ~~ I don't know why it didn't hit me earlier, it's been ... longer than that, now. Almost a whole month more, haha. But I guess these things come out of nowhere, all the time ... Two years since the captain took me on this, and I'm still making trouble for him, all the time, aren't I? I ... don't know what to do about it, though. I don't want to leave. It is all I have ... and the captain's a good person, really, though he doesn't think he is. And he tries not to be! He's just ... He took me in. That's really proof of it more than anything else... And almost a year since we left Razen, too ... I miss it. I never thought you could miss something this much, but I guess you can't miss it if you haven't lost it yet ... Haha. Lest, you're probably reading this over my shoulder and laughing at me, aren't you? I'm ... being silly ~

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May 25th, 2009

Time: 01:26 am Current Mood: cheerful

[Filter: Captain Reese] How's it coming, captain...~? Got it all worked out, yet? I've been curious ~~

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April 29th, 2009

Time: 07:55 pm Current Mood: thoughtful

So~ I was thinking, actually, I think it might just be the weather or something making me all nostalgic, but it is kind of Wednesday ... so, well. I know we all talked about our first memories once, a long time ago, but I'm curious what your best memories are ... Um, for me, it's kind of silly ~ I was with Lest and we climbed up onto a roof in Razen and watched the eclipse together, during the Moon Festival. I made dumplings, but they were ...~ really bad~ but he ate them anyway with this big stupid smile on his face, like they were the best thing he'd ever eaten. Haha, that sounds even sillier when I write it~

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April 21st, 2009

Time: 05:37 pm

[Filter: Captain Reese] So ~ So far, I've noticed Burton, Jackson, and Martin giving me some weird looks ~ I haven't talked to them myself, because, you know~ There are some others, but they might not be so bad, they might just be "heard the rumors and didn't know what to say"~ I'll let you know if it gets worse with them, though.

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April 9th, 2009

Time: 05:14 pm

[Filter: Captain Reese] By the way, captain ... ~ I meant to say this earlier, but you should probably do something with your hair when we make port~

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April 5th, 2009

Time: 09:46 pm Current Mood: distressed

[the writing is extremely hurried and messy] [filte r: captain reese] capt ain I really [inkblots] help

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April 4th, 2009

Time: 05:27 am Current Mood: stressed

[Filter: Private, in Atsirian] I -- Dragons, how much longer until we land, that'll make it all better. Just -- I just can't --

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March 28th, 2009

Time: 04:01 am Current Mood: restless

[Filter: Private, in Atsirian] Cabin fever, right ~~ Why isn't it getting any better. This is just -- oh I just can't keep this up. I know I can't. I think he knows, too, he's just -- he's just taking joy in wearing me down, like some kind of animal ... I can't keep this up. But I really don't want to bother the captain with it, not as long as I can still handle it ... if it gets worse, then I'll -- then. I can do this for now, it's just ... ~~~~

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February 25th, 2009

Time: 04:10 am Current Mood: stressed

[Filter: Private, in Atsirian] It's I'm -- writing about it isn't going to do anything. I just can't let him see he's bugging me, then he'll keep right on -- he's getting worse but I know that's just because I'm not caving in. If I just ignore him then -- then Dragons, why won't he just go ....

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February 24th, 2009

Time: 02:02 am Current Mood: stressed

[Filter: Private] It's -- if I just ignore him, he'll go away. It's not like him looming is bothering me or distracting me or anything, and I told the captain I'd try. If I just let him -- whatever it is he's trying to do, if I just ignore the whole thing, then he'll go away. Dragons, I hate him so much but I can't let him get to me, I just can't.

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January 19th, 2009

Time: 05:40 am Current Mood: cheerful

Um ~ So! This may be kind of a weird question, haha. But I was thinking about the whole language thing, and it's been so long since I learned a language that I've kind of forgotten how to do it~! So I need some advice. If you were just starting to learn an entirely new language, how would you start~? I mean, is it easier to learn how to write it first, and then how to speak it, or the other way around, exactly~? I'm just planning to learn Dentorian, and you can't get much different from Atsirian than that ... ~ Maybe Kilian is more different, actually, haha. It's hard to say! Anyway, um, yeah, looking for help over here if you can give it~

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September 23rd, 2008

Time: 11:17 pm Current Mood: nervous

Um Well Happy festival, everyone ~ I hope everybody enjoyed it! I know I did, haha.

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July 17th, 2008

Time: 05:40 am Current Mood: uncomfortable

[Filter: Captain Reese] Um ~ I haven't really said it yet, so ... thanks. For not leaving me there. I know you could have, and you didn't, so just ... thanks ~~ [Filter: ...Queen Edalene] Um ... ~ Councillor Gideon said that you were the one who helped me out, not long ago ... I'm -- I just wanted to say thank you. I guess.

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July 12th, 2008

Time: 06:47 pm Current Mood: depressed

[Filter: Private] And ... that's it. I don't even know what to [Filter: Councillor Gideon] I'm Thanks, I'm -- glad you don't hate me, Councillor. And thank you for trying, I just ... Thanks. I'm out of Razen now, and it's probably thanks to you that I made it, so I guess Thanks ~~

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June 21st, 2008

Time: 10:24 pm Current Mood: distressed

[Filter: Private] Oh Dragons I'm not imagining it. I -- saw. They're there, and they're following me. I'm really not imagining this, am I? My senses aren't wrong, I should have known better than to think they were, I ohhhh [Filter: Councillor Gideon] Um! Councillor! I have a quick question!

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June 16th, 2008

Time: 01:47 pm Current Mood: uncomfortable

[Filter: Private] ... okay, I've got to be imagining it, this time. Councillor Gideon wouldn't ... I'm just nervous, still, I think~ But there's nothing to worry about! Everything's fine~~

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June 11th, 2008

Time: 03:16 am Current Mood: worried

[Filter: Councillor Gideon] ... Um ~ I think I was kind of rude, before ...

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May 8th, 2008

Time: 04:17 am Current Mood: worried

[Filter: Private] Um. Once is a chance, twice is coincidence, right? Still ... nothing to worry about. Besides, I bet they were just looking at the eyepatch, hah, I'd be looking at it too. ~ I should t

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